You need an excuse. Even a really bad one will do.
Luckily we were awarded visitation rights when Yang celebrated her 22nd birthday. When I called to make reservations, I casually mentioned it was a birthday celebration and Eileen, who took the call, asked who's birthday it was... which I thought was weird. But to our amazement, they printed Yang's name on the menu... And there was even confetti on the table!
Birthday kitsch, how cute!
I wanted to break out of my crabcake-steak-chocolate comfort zone and thus ordered the fish and key lime pie. Fish and lime in a Chicago steakhouse? This girl must be losing her marbles.
Better to lose my marbles than my appetite. The enormous warm onion bun loaf arrived shortly thereafter with its onion-studded crust and fluffy folds. Great on its own but heavenly with a knob of butter.
It provided good distraction when the menu wagon was wheeled over. Even if you haven’t been to Morton’s, you would have heard of their menu diatribe. It’s cheesy… it’s sickeningly sing-along but no visit to Morton’s is complete without going through it. Kinda like taking the It’s a Small World boat ride at Disneyland.
Tracy, our waitress warned us about having too much bread. TOO LATE. By the time she was done reciting, we were like 80% done?!
Morton’s Grilled Jumbo Asparagus were the Californian Redwoods of the Asparagus World. Crunchy with slight sweet stickiness, thanks to the balsamic glaze.
Something I would not recommend is the Sliced Beefsteak Tomato Salad. It was an oversight on our part as we read “beef steak and tomatoes,” instead of “beefsteak tomato.” You can just imagine our surprise when one giant tomato and one huge Romaine lettuce leaf arrived.
Oh, I wouldn’t miss the giant Idaho Potato Skins too.
The Macaroni & Cheese, on the other hand, was wolf-whistle. If it were MY birthday, I would have ordered an extra crusty version. Less filling, MORE MORE MORE charry crusty bits.
Meat the family.
Finally the meats arrive! My parents went for the Aged Australian Porterhouse (not pictured), which both ate wordlessly... WHICH is probably a good thing thing. My parents are pretty quiet eaters, as in they don’t comment till the end of the meal UNLESS the dish is offensively bad. So the Porterhouse scores.
Yang went for the USDA Prime Rib “rare” (pictured above and below).
The steak was undeniably gorgeous. Perfectly grilled, juicy… but dead-on rare in the middle. The cow died an honorable death. I can see him right now with his golden ticket, strutting through Gates of Heaven,
I had the Broiled Salmon Fillet. Oh, the fish... Excuse me, I feel myself choking up again. I felt like “The Chosen One”. Love, appreciated… I would probably never order steak in Morton’s again. Don’t get me wrong: I love my red meat but few places do salmon well. If you feel bad about ordering fish in a steakhouse, come sit next to me.
Apparently this is a Long Island grandma's recipe and each slice has friggin’ 1800 calories. #%^!%# I really shouldn’t have googled it.
There was texturally alot going on. Nutty, crunchy and even shreddy… but it didn't quite do it for me. The cream cheese tasted like hardened frosting and it was teeth-grindingly sweet.
We all liked the key lime pie loads loads more. On the pH scale, it was probably pH 4.5. Its flavour was definitely more subtle than PS Cafe's, making good key lime pie for beginners.
The Morton's Choir sang Yang a birthday song. Gaw-, it was embarrassing but funny at the same time. They even took a picture of us with their camera, which prompted yet another question mark since we had our own camera. A few minutes later, they delivered a birthday card to Yang, signed by the Morton staff, with the photo of us affixed within. It’s a small world after alllllllll…
Food-wise, not everything was a hit but we all had a great time.
Morton’s of Chicago
Mandarin Oriental Hotel
5 Raffles Avenue