Mummy thinks that adding a few pictures of me will
help lighten up this emo post. You bet.
A weird thought popped into my head the other day: I wish Russell was born to someone more patient, more caring ... someone like his yaya.
I can't believe I'm saying this but I really admire her. She's a natural when it comes to the bub. The way she coaxes him, plays with him and sings him to sleep... I don't blame Russell for wanting to hang out with her - heck, I would wanna hang with her too if I were a baby.
I'll always be mummy's boy - till I get a wife.
Don't worry, Mummy is fully prepared for that.
Before you call Child Services, I will state for the record that I have never regretted having Russell. I love seeing the bub's ballsy little face first thing in the morning; I love seeing him go from dazed to delighted when I call out to him; and I miss him terribly when he's not around me so much so that I look at other people's babies for some semblance when I'm out without him.
Yet sometimes I wonder what I'm doing around this family, as in what my contribution really is. I'm not the breadwinner; Ina and Nigella aren't exactly speed-dialing me for leftover turkey solutions; and there are moments when I feel the bub probably doesn't notice I'm not around. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents who have never said a mean word throughout this period of time; it takes great aptitude and judgement to know when to jump in to help and more importantly, when to step aside and let others take over without feeling hurt.
I have been told girls dig humour.
Guess what, inner-voice-of-mine? It's too late to ask this question and besides, the bub brings so much joy to so many people. So. Many. People.
Maybe this is it. The people-pleaser in me (Middle Child Syndrome) has always sought to make people around me happy, and thus raising a healthy and happy child is my biggest contribution to this family.
I regret ending on such a 'WTH' note. I'm still trying to figure things out and sure hope, for Russell's sake, that I sort it out soon.