Buko Nero

I don't mean to be judgmental (hah, maybe I should try a little harder) but there are some things that I would never do for food. Like queue xx hours for a box of Donut Factory Donuts (nothing quite screams, "I need a real job" than that lurid orange box). Having said that, there are some things I wouldn't mind 'queuing up' for.... Like say Buko Nero, where I called to ask for "the earliest possible lunch reservation" and actually put my name down for a reservation for 2 weeks later. Well so long as public humiliation isn't on the menu, make it a table for three.

The 20-seater restaurant obviously doesn't buy the 'Economics of Scale' theory. Hello? What happened to that 'Quick let's churn out dishes like a sweatshop, the faster we turn tables, the higher our profits?' mission statement? Obviously here at Buko Nero, there isn't an inch of truth to that saying and that's why this tinier-than-tiny eatery has been around for years even without a self-titled dotcom and advertising.

Its reputation precedes itsel- Chubbyhubby calls it "The Hardest Reservation in Singapore". Many have warned of a "month-long advanced booking"... Come on people, it's just food?! Then again, is 'food' ever just 'food'? Well if that were the case, people like Ruth Reichl and Jamie Oliver would be living on food stamps.

After our orders were placed, a basket of sun-dried tomato bread sticks made it to our table and my 'say yay to rice, nay to bread' sister wolfed down a couple in minutes. We also received a complimentary Chef's appetizer of fried quail's egg and mashed pumpkin on toast. Naturally we oohed and aahed over the amuse bouche, which resembled a hobbit-sized egg on toast.



For starters, we had the beef carpaccio and soup. The paper thin sheets of beef carpaccio, lemon dressing and pine nuts eased down gently.

Quite frankly, the green pea, watercress and crabmeat soup sounded like a recipe concocted by Dr Seuss and Roald Dahl. I was taken aback by the surprisingly light flavour. In fact, I felt it needed a good pinch of salt. Big Name for Little Flavour.

I was disappointed by the main courses offered braised chicken thigh or penne with braised cod and zucchini ragu. To me, it was a decision to be made between the most boring meat that ever walked the face of this earth and well, instant noodles.

Between 'dullsville' and 'dullsville', I went for 'dullsville'.

Figuring my marginal utility would be maximised by the presence of cod and zucchini, I chose the penne. Whoa, even with that rationale behind the dish, I had to be coaxed into finishing half my plate. The penne was done perfectly al dente but I was bored in 5 forksful. The cod was somewhere out there but nowhere to be found and I could only seek comfort in the zucchini niblets.

The crab and prawn pasta spotted the same problem. It had a richer taste, compared to the slightly creamy penne but I was bored in .... *snooze*

Fortunately, dessert perked me up. The coffee ice cream was served in the cutest spade and bucket. The chocolate coconut cake partially submerged in still-warm gula melaka was the next best thing to my favourite comfort food- vanilla ice cream and ruffles original potato chips.



At the heart of this restaurant stands husband-and-wife team Chef Oscar and his wife, Tracy, who could easily give Barbara and Allan Pease a run for their moolah. Tracy demonstrates caring but non-intrusive service while the food Chef Oscar creates mirrors his own marriage: a cross-cultural Italian and Asian love tale.

Personable and surprisingly relaxing, eating at Buko Nero felt like attending a dinner party at a friend's home. It was also here at Buko Nero where I encountered my first "No Photography Allowed" restaurant policy, but no hard feelings as it wasn't as irritating as that "We Don't Serve Tap Water" restaurant policy.

My less than gratifying experience should be attributed to my aversion towards "fusion". To me, fusion feels an unwanted guest at the dinner table. It is the black sheep of the family, the socially inept and sexually confused cousin, who "went to boarding school".