Burger King HA HA HA

Yes, this is a real food review.

When my collegue, MissCat fished out a crumpled moth-eaten Burger King voucher, I was bemused. To me, eating at fast food chains seemed like a rite of passage that I went through as a kid and young teenager. I remember when McDonalds established an outlet just five minutes walking distance from my school, the school authorities went into a flurry of "Healthy Eating" lip campaign.

Did it work? Hell no. The helluva hoo-ha would served to pique our interest and in any event, my dear old out-of-touch fussbudgets, too many students have been livin' the fast food life long before McDonald's made its way to Ang Mo Kio Street 13.

I used to have Burger King's Crossanwich (ham, please) Breakfast every Sunday morning before going off to ballet class and I would never forget to change my beverage from tea or coffee to orange juice. Of course, this routine would later spin off a journey through child chubs and calories counting but we will save that tearjerker for another occasion.

I was actually looking forward to lunch. I was feeling rather rebellious, for lack of a better word. Since I'm a firm believer that you have to experience the bad, in order to recognize the good, I also wanted to see how 'low' fast food chains would go.



MissCat and I had the gimmicky 'Buddies Meal': Turkey Bacon Cheeseburger, Mushroom Swissburger and three sides: Cheesesticks, Fries and Onion Rings for S$9.90.


Turkey Bacon Cheeseburger


Mushroom Swiss Burger

Gone in three chomps, the burgers was small, just slightly bigger than my palm. The godknowswhatwentin patties were thin, albeit affixed with a smoky grilled aroma. Within my Turkey Bacon Cheeseburger, the bacon was limp and only slightly revived by the barbeque sauce. As for the Mushroom Swiss Burger, we found scattered sliced button mushrooms in nondescript cream sauce.

Am I supposed to comment?



There was nothing remarkable about the shoestring fries (well to be honest, anything remotely exceptional would have demanded column space on the Frank Bruni's column). A signature at Burger King, the onion rings looked unpardonably anemic and undercooked. How difficult is it to work a deep fryer with pre-set temperature and timing? The cheesesticks, while not lacking in taste, was discomforting upon closer inspection. I couldn't make out the constitution of its contents- it just looked like yellow mashed... something.

It is blatantly unhealthy but practically everything detrimental tastes oh-so-good anyway. Bottom line though the food was still edible- even if it did mean using up your sodium bicarbonate intake for the week. We are, after all, talking about bacon, fat and cheese here, so IT'S GOT TO BE TASTY. Just slap on some barbeque sauce & ketchup and what you get is a meal that has sand-grain contributed to the billion-dollar fast food and processed food industry.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride to in an ambulance today..."