11 months on

Instead of talking about Russell, I'm beginning to think these monthly updates are more about myself, my well-being and state of mind. Well, the bub can start his own blog if he wants more airtime. 

I am in recovery mode these days. It's a lot easier to talk about it now that I'm feeling more calm and able to process all the negativity constructively. 

Sometimes, I think about the person I am and I'm not proud of who I've become. It takes very little to trigger my machete of snark and there are topics I can't get through without feeling angry and hopeless. 

My behavior is inexcusable and I knew I needed to change (really, I can't blame hormones?). In other words, I need to get over myself. 

At the end of the day, I shouldn't blame people for my unhappiness, keep score of what I have for others so that I can receive repayment in kind, expect people to "get me" and wallow in self-pity. 

Naturally, it is easier said than done but I'll manage. We all do =)

In other news, I know people have comment Russell looks more like a one to two year old, I can't believe this is the bub's last month as a babyyyy!